Friend Chasers

I hope everyone had a Happy New Year. Its good to see our readers are healthy, “back in the building”, “doin’ it big” and all the other cliche shit that people use from our culture to describe how cool they are. Personally, the New Year has been good to me. Its 12 days old and I’m still getting a pay check, still eating, keeping my side bitch on the low and except for my Giants getting eliminated, shit is better than I expected. I have very little time for the fuckery, so I’m going to get right to the biz.

My pet peeve for 2009 is three words. That’s right, without these three words, the beginning of this year would be better than a RUNDMC concert in Madison Square Garden, when dudes was still rocking the red, white and black Addidas sweat shirts and the straight leg Lee’s. Are you ready people? “Come Join Me” is the worse phrase of ’09! This shit is worse than “you’re a hater”. Remember when you used to run into a dude at a party and the business interest was mutually beneficial, so you traded contact information? That shit isn’t cool anymore. Now motherfuckers jack your blackberry email or some idiot forgets how to work the BCC function and the next thing you know, Dj ________ (insert name) is hitting you asking you to “Come Join Me” on any number of those fucking social networking sites. If I wanted to know some no name Dj’s schedule at clubs that I’m at least 600 miles away from, I would have googled you. There’s a number of reasons I’m not on your friend list motherfucker. The main one being, I DON’T FUCKING KNOW YOU!

Where’s the etiquette with this shit? Who’s policing these motherfuckers? Can you “friend chasers” get a fucking life or at least take a day off. I’m trying to get in my side bitch ribs and there it goes……”Come Join Dj El Loco” on Twitter. Wasn’t it enough with Myspace and Facebook? Now I’m interrupted while I’m trying to get some sweaty balls by some motherfucker who wants me to Twitter them? Isn’t this shit like an invasion of privacy? The next step is to start jacking home addresses and you friendless bastards going door to door on a motherfucker.

You know what really fucks me up? I actually clicked on the link and joined one of these fucking groups and after I went through all that shit, this son of a bitch had the nerve to send me a message that said, “what’s good?” What’s Good? Life, business and most of all PUSSY! That’s the problem with all these social networks. People don’t have any respect for keeping it business or the skills to hit you with a good sales pitch. They just want to collect friends. The information age has fucked up the whole concept of a friend. You have to talk to me more than once for me to consider you a friend. Meet me at a party, buy me a drink at the bar or something, but those impersonal standard messages these services hit you with suck. Damn, I almost forgot that I have a solution for a lot of this shit, but you “friend chasers” probably won’t dig it. These services shouldn’t be allowed to send you a message unless you’re a practicing member of said community. So to all those who are attempting to send, contemplating sending, or have previously sent me an unanswered “Come Join Me” invite……DON’T BOTHER!!!


djcc | January 14, 2009 12:41 AM | Reply



DJ 2MELLO!!!!!!!!!!! | January 14, 2009 7:52 AM | Reply

lol comedy at its finest!! good editorial Dimez, you get sick of seeing that crap after a while for real.

Tapemasta | January 14, 2009 6:49 PM | Reply

See what happens when you get popular..Everybody wants to be your friend..Be like me, i don’t do

Phillycustoms | January 17, 2009 1:04 AM | Reply


Nothing is more annoying then those “Come Join Me On” emails…. I just typed into my gmail search bard “Come join me on” and it found HUNDEREDS of those spam bullshits.

MKAOS 8.0 | January 26, 2009 10:33 PM | Reply